My sweet Nicolas,
I can’t believe it’s been a year since you came into the world… screeching with displeasure about having to leave your warm, cozy home. I’m not going to lie, I was a little nervous. Not about the birth itself (although I wasn’t exactly looking forward to going through all that pain again), but about bringing you into our little family. My heart was already full from loving your sister so completely, that I didn’t know how it was going to be possible to love another baby in the same way. And I was nervous for Isabelle. That she wouldn’t like you, that she’d be jealous, that – as you grew older – you two wouldn’t get along.
The worry was for nothing. My heart doubled in size seemingly overnight and life without you quickly became a distant memory. And Isabelle? She was fascinated by you from day one. She wanted to hold you all the time and loved helping mommy with everything – changing your diaper, getting you new clothes or burp cloths, or shaking a toy for you. She was never jealous when I would nurse you and hold you for hours while you slept. (Now your grandparents? A different story. They always had to give the baby back to mommy asap.)
And as you’ve grown older, the bond between the two of you has grown stronger and stronger. You two really are the best of friends. The way you race around the house side by side, the way you read books together, the way you make each other burst into fits of laughter – it really makes my mama heart explode with happiness. Yes there are fights (mainly over balls, which you both love ever so dearly), but there are so many more sweet and happy and love-filled moments that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you were the perfect addition to our family. You make us complete in a way I could never have imagined.
You are such a sweet and happy little guy. Your smile makes everyone around you instantly light up. You love having lots of people around you. The more the merrier, the louder the better.
That said, you weren’t truly happy until you learned to crawl. You’ve always been a fiercely independent little soul, unhappy anywhere where you were in the least bit restricted – carrier, car seat, stroller. You just wanted to be out exploring the world. When you finally figured out this whole crawling business (at 9 months), your level of contentment was palpable. You no longer cried with displeasure whenever we plopped you down on the ground. Now you were so excited to be able to explore every nook and cranny around you. You mastered the stairs in record time and dishwashers and drawers became your new jungle gym.
You are such a determined little man. You practice each new skill over and over again until you’ve mastered it. You saw your sister dribble the ball, so you figured out how to do it too. You watched another baby pull herself up to standing and did it yourself the very next day. You started walking at 11 months and, just yesterday, you walked from one end of the house to the other for the very first time.
Your absolute favourite thing in the world is food. We didn’t start feeding you solids until you were 5.5 month old – out of laziness, I’ll admit – but in hindsight you were ready for real food weeks if not months before. And pureed food quickly became old. You wanted “grown up” food and you wanted to feed yourself. You spent hours happily sitting in your highchair eating everyone around you under the table.
You started saying “mama” only a week ago and it melts my heart. You don’t say it often, only when there’s something you truly need. Which makes it all the more special when those sweet sounds come out of your perfect little lips.
You sleep like a champ and for that I am truly grateful. You love your crib so much and even screech with joy when it’s bedtime and you get to snuggle up in your cozy sleep sack. Recently I’ve been having this strong urge to bring you back into our bed because I just want to snuggle you all night long. But your dad thinks I’m crazy for even considering disrupting your amazing sleep habits.
Speaking of your dad, you’re most definitely a daddy’s boy. When your dad walks through the door, you give the loudest, happiest squeal and hurry to the door to greet him. If I get up in the morning with you (a rare occasion these days, I admit) you’re not happy until your dad is awake and has scooped you up into his arms.
Baby boy, you make me so unbelievably happy. You have made such a profound difference in our lives – you (and your sister) are the reason I get up in the morning, the reason for my fierce determination to lead life to the fullest, to not take a single minute with you for granted. These past 366 days have gone by so fast, but – at the same time – they are just the beginning. You are going to move mountains.
Happy birthday my sweet, sweet boy. I love you more than words can say, always and forever.